The School Of Love, Understanding Our Sexual Urge
This is part two of the post I wrote last week.
Sorry for the delay in my writing, I had a busy week with painting, concerts, fasting and I was fortunate to place another original painting with an art collector.
So here it is:
The School Of Love, Understanding Our Sexual Urge
Our cultures send us mixed messages about sex, which affect us directly AND subconsciously.
But Sex is the basic URGE to MERGE.
It is driven by a deep spiritual urge to merge with another and to become ONE, even if for just a few moments….to lose ourselves in the other.
Sex is the urge to step into a natural high, into the ecstasy that exists when you forget the erroneous belief that you are held within a human form, and you lose yourself in the unified field of our collective being.
This unified field beyond your body-awareness is the land of pure bliss, and you can access it consciously through practicing meditation, or unconsciously through sex.
Sex can bring about this experience in a real physical form.
But how do we do it? And why do most people go to their graves without ever recognizing that we have this potential within us?
First let me say that if you do not know and have not experienced any of this, you are not alone!
Most everyone on earth “plays blindly,” going by what they can figure out intuitively, without ever diving into the full potential of sex.
You are NOT damaged and there is nothing wrong with you, you simply need to LEARN to understand and to use the energy of sex.
You do not expect to simply know how to play the violin or the piano like a virtuoso without ever learning and practicing, similarly you must learn about sex and how to do it right, in order to get there.
You must also practice, and expect that the learning curve will be long.
So why do most people not know much about sex and instead, feeling damaged and confused about the whole thing, channel their energies into food or careers, social justice, leisure, charity or making money?
Confusion about sex and its potential started in ancient times, and it still goes on nowadays, with the same heavy, dark clouds of misconceptions that have been on the horizon for tens of thousands of years.
But there is a new awakening happening in America, and for those of you who are interested in being plugged in, there is plenty of knowledge available for the tiny price of buying a book and learning.
On one hand we know that sex can be super pleasurable, but on the other hand, if practiced wrongly, it can leave us feeling empty, lost, wasted, challenged or even bored with the whole experience.
Perhaps Butch Hancock said it best when he said:
“Life in Lubbock Texas, taught me two things: one is that God loves you AND that you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on the face of the earth AND that you should save it for someone you love.” Butch Hancock (country/folk singer)
Most cultures on the earth are “sex-negative,” depicting sex as a basic animalistic urge.
They make allowance for it when it is used for the purpose of procreating, not recreation.
No culture teaches us that sex is an expression of a spiritual, divine urge.
But there were ancient times on this earth when there were hints of something different.
One example is in Greek Mythology, when it was fully understood that we must learn to love.
I chose to add to this post a famous painting called:
“The school of love, the education of Cupid” by Francois Boucher, a French painter who painted this painting in 1742.
Correggio, an Italian painter, painted an earlier version of “The Education of Cupid -The School of Love” in 1521.
Cupid is the son of Venus, the goddess of sensual Love, and Mercury, the messenger of the gods of Mount Olympus.
In Latin, Cupid is called Amor, and in Greek, Eros.
He is usually shown as an innocent, winged child carrying a bow, arrows and a quiver. Those hit by his arrows become lovers.
The scene of this painting takes place with the background of a cloudy sky, with the naked Mercury teaching the young Cupid about love.
Venus, usually shown with wings, is holding white doves in her hands.
White doves represent freedom, purity and good intentions.
Venus, the goddess of love and sensuality is always depicted in her beautiful nakedness, often surrounded by angels, because sensual love, eroticism and sexuality were believed to be divine.
Yes… Even Cupid had to learn how to become the God of love…
So do we…. we must unlearn the shame and negative concepts and learn anew about sex and about sensual love.
Each one of us is a complex interplay between a long slow evolutionary process and our local and unique influences and environment.
You are the result of a dance between biology and culture!
You entwine nature and nurture!
You weave together what is inborn with what you’ve learned.
All these forces and factors together create your own unique sexuality.
You must “Know thyself.”
You must learn and explore the landscape that is “Thyself”—literally!
Play with yourself and you’ll come to know how to access your ecstasy.
Sex-negative cultures control the sex drive with inflexible laws, constrict with repressive beliefs and viciously punish all transgressions.
Living in a sex-negative culture, women in our era have to navigate the inter play between the Madonna- the virgin, and the sacred whore, or better said Venus, the goddess of sensual love.
It is a game that each woman has to navigate.
It plays within women who are in long term relationships, in marriages, as well as in single women.
How do you lay aside the mother, the caregiver, the gracious Madonna, and become Venus?… Guiding your lover to caress your erectile tissues into your ecstasy?….
We are confused about sex and it is just as hard for couples in long term relationships, as it is for passionate new lovers.
One of the most popular posts on my blog is an article that I wrote years ago, reflecting about why couples in long term relationships stop having sex, or have sex very rarely.
Apparently, many, many people google this question, attempting to find answers to this baffling conflict…..Obviously we do love and enjoy our partners – we know that sex can be great fun, so why do we not combine the two and enjoy fun sex with our partner?
Many people do not understand the energy of sex, nor know how to control its fiery and explosive nature.
They conclude that they are with the wrong partner, or that the romance has died, or that explosive passionate sex is something that belongs to the young.
But sex is actually wasted on the young.
It takes most people DECADES to reach their full sexual potential!
Our culture equates ripe sexuality with youth, but TRUE sexual maturity is often accompanied by soft bellies, gray hair and wrinkles.
In other words, true sex is an old person’s game, which can be perfected with knowledge and practice.
Mature sex might not look amazing, like in the movies that depict wild sex where strangers throw each other against the walls and have seemingly passionate sex, but those movies are not real life, they are merely showing a veneer of sexual wildness.
Those sex scenes are NOT the way to a “multiple -full -body -orgasm,” nor do they lead to layers of orgasmic bliss.
Remember that it is not your fault if you have never experienced it before.
You simply need to learn, and you are NOT limited by your past experiences.
You can learn to fully and consciously open the inner portal to your sexual life force, and in so doing gain access to Divine Bliss and find the link to your uninhibited wild power.
Most people are “Sexually Challenged,” and go through life feeling broken inside, and possibly damaged or missing a piece of life, while they imagine other people to be sexually happy and satisfied.
Many adults repress their sexuality altogether, and channel the energy elsewhere.
Our communities disrespect sexual diversity and perpetuate oppression and ignorance.
We are a nation of the “sexually wounded,” handicapped by lack of knowledge and suppressed erotic energy that denies people their birthright—an intact and blissfully functioning sexuality.
Remember that it is NEVER too late!!!!
The best lovers are sages—mature people who are able to act in alignment with their authentic self, and to be in ongoing, conscious connection with others.
You’ve reached true sexual maturity when you can appropriately use the full spectrum of your core and complementary powers, whether that be in the sacred sex act in the bedroom, or in work situations, in the boardrooms.
One of the secrets of the sages who spent lifetimes perfecting their bodies, strengthening their will powers and their minds, is the knowledge that there are many kinds of sexual orgasmic experiences, and that climax and ejaculation are NOT the same thing.
Yes, they occur at the same time, so men and women confuse them by thinking that they MUST occur simultaneously.
But the truth is that you can learn to expand your arousal and orgasm.
You can learn to channel your sexual energy away from explosive ejaculatory orgasm and send it up your spine.
It’s worth learning how to do it, and you will find out what a full-body multiple orgasm feels like!
Women must learn about their own most beautiful, complex erectile tissues, among them the vestibular ball, and learn about women’s anatomy.
Without fully understanding your “equipment,” you are only “playing with half your cards,” or with only a limited number of your piano’s keys.
You can still make good music, but it will not be a full symphony until you will discover the whole set of keys that are available to you.
One good place to learn about all this including details, diagrams and sketches is to buy and read the book:
“Women’s Anatomy Of Arousal, Secret Maps To Buried Pleasure” by SHERI WINSTON.
I have borrowed and paraphrased a lot from this book in writing this article.
The book is also available in electronic version through Amazon: