Why do couples in long term relationships stop kissing….
I see them in cafes
Dining in restaurants
Shopping in stores.
They used to be lovers
They uses to treat each other with gentleness
With kindness and love
They are still husbands and wives,
But now they are at each other’s throats.
I see them whisper to one another venomous words
Their faces contorting
Their eyes narrowing
Both of them are wincing in discomfort
It takes a lot of energy to wage a war….
They do not want their kids to hear them
Nor do they wish for the people around them
To know how angry they are inside
To see them so full of hate…
What happened to the love they once had for each other?
For the tenderness of heart they once felt?
Why have they turned to silent enemies….
Now all they wish is to get out of this relationship
This relationship which has turned into a war-zone.
Many relationships fail nowadays.
They fail because the people involved are engaged in the age-old habit of transferring their frustrations, their inner lack of satisfaction, their unresolved emotional burdens, and they blame all of their inner turmoil on their partners.
Subconsciously they believe that their partners were meant to shelter them from loneliness and help them deal with all their inner chaos and pain.
Maybe they believed that love and a marriage would solve everything.
When that fails to manifest (and this idea is doomed to fail), the marriage becomes the cage which holds them back.
Like everyone who falls in love, they start by seeing all the good in their partner.
Their hearts are filled with all the possibilities that their imagination could muster.
They imagine that being together will do this, and that the intimacy will shelter them and that they will soar with joy together…..
Only to find years later that they constantly argue with their partners and feel more alienated and unresolved than ever.
It takes discipline to see ONLY the good in your partner and to focus ONLY on that.
It takes eyes which are TRULY trained to see only the Spiritual Light in your partner and nothing else.
I can attest that it CAN be done, based on my own life.
When I first met Jules, I saw the good sides in him and was fully aware of his weaknesses as well.
But now, 14 years into our marriage, our love and our partnership, I cannot see his minuses even if I try.
I simply cannot see anything about him I do not love.
Yes, I know in theory that as humans, we can always improve.
We can strive to grow in understanding and to become less ego based and more soul and spirit based.
But I am on the same journey…
A journey to become more God-like and less animalistic and less ego-serving.
It is what the spiritual path is all about….
It is about realizing that WE ARE SPIRITS… And learning to ACT and think accordingly.
Daily, Jules and I work towards educating our minds so our minds can become better tools to serve our Spirits and souls.
A disciplined mind is a great tool for your progress in life.
A mind may not be a good master, but it must become a good serviceable tool for the spirit.
So does a well disciplined emotional body.
Nothing is more satisfying than healing your wounds and learning to create peace and harmony in your life.
One of the ways to do that is to block all the drama addicts in your life who thrive on dramas and fully believe that “this is life…”
They fully believe that life is a series of pains and tragedies and that family and friends are there to help us carry the burden.
We can learn to stop this silly belief in our own lives, and to step out of people’s transitory dramas.
We can practice not creating ANY traumas and dramas in our own lives, and instead to diligently cultivate inner calmness and peace of mind.
I have conversed with many successful people who would never even consider dating or bringing into their lives people who are unresolved emotionally, who thrive on dramas.
The real state of this loving Universe is calmness, peace, love and gentleness.
All harshness comes from humans, and we must learn to see that beyond our ego’s desires, jealously and pride, there exists a gentle world…..
It is our True nature and it is the TRUE nature of the universe…. And it is there for us to see when we are ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, we have been looking at the world….at ourselves and at each other… With the wrong kind of eyes…..