Thoughts I had at 4 in the morning
It is 4 o’clock in the morning, and I cannot sleep any more.
My jet leg is officially on day one…
I have had jet leg periods lasting as much as ten days, where my body would just take its time to adjust to the difference in time zones, climate and altitude.
It is funny… But in the last 48 hours we have flown from Tokyo back to New Zealand, only to turn immediately around and fly back to Colorado.
We went from two months of warm summer weather in NZ, to Tokyo, where it was cold and snowy, back to summer where the sun does not set until 9 in the evening, and again to winter in Colorado, where it is already pitch black by 5:30 PM.
I decided to take a hot bath, instead of turning on the lights to read, or tossing around bed and waking up Jules, who is sleeping next to me in the Saint Julian hotel in Boulder Colorado.
I filled the big bathtub with hot water and bath salts, and sank my body into the inviting waters…
I felt content.
Calm and quiet, I remembered how tasty was last night’s dinner…
I closed my eyes with pleasure, and listened to my thoughts….
Here is what followed:
“Anything you may find through seeking, will only be a wild fox spirit.”
I love this wise saying by Zen master Rinzai.
It points our attention to the fact that the very act of SEEKING, will bring to us only what is fleeting.
The Truth will come into the open and willing heart, and to a person who has trained her mind to become open, wide and quiet.
In order to understand the Truth, we need to EMBODY the Truth, we need to BECOME it.
It may sound like a contradiction…. How do you progress along your path without SEEKING a higher ground on which to stand and from which to see things from a larger perspective….
But it is not a contradiction, if you look at it with the eyes of Zen and Buddhism.
According to Zen, the world we seem to live in, is a world of illusions.
By valuing illusions, we bind ourselves to them.
Because we believe that illusions are real, we believe in the many limitations that the world of forms entails.
You may ask yourself why would anyone want to believe in the reality of death, of limitation, of suffering, of contagious diseases and of hunger, of poverty and crime…..
You cannot choose and pick, like you would when you are shopping in the supermarket.
When you believe in the reality of forms and bodies, you buy into the whole package of illusions that comes with it.
You cannot see two worlds.
Spiritual vision requires that you shift your attention, shift your fascination from the world of forms, into the spiritual world.
Instead of seeking, we can shift our focus to observing, and to undoing.
When we encounter a belief that is limiting and painful, we must ask ourselves if it is necessary to adopt it… To hold it…. Or maybe it is nothing more than an IDEA…… a belief, and maybe we should drop it down….and let it go…
When we seek for something, it implies that we think that we do not have it.
But you already have all that you need…
You ARE a perfect being of Love and Light….. All you need is the courage to recognize that it is so…
It may seem arrogant to believe such lofty ideas about yourself….
It may seem like just another trick of the ego…. That is trying to boost your standing…
But it is not so…
Indeed, your body is nothing.
It is no more than an idea… A vehicle… A learning tool… A device to help you… A communication tool….
Your body is not real…. And your body is NOT you.
Who you REALLY are…. beyond your bodily identification, is a being so magnificent that if you got a glimpse of your true identity, you would drop to your knees in reverence.
Yet…. you walk the world of illusions, arguing for your limitations… Collecting crumbs of fleeting pleasures…. Holding on to shards of happiness that will not last…
You take pride in empty vessels…. In your child’s accomplishments…. In the awards you have won…. In your education… In your own accomplishments…. In the closeness of others that you call friends or family….
When just a step away behind the veil, lies everything that you TRULY want.
You do not need to seek for another place… Another relationship… More money or success…
YOU ARE AT HOME exactly where you are…
Heaven is HERE… And Heaven, is your HOME.
I dried myself with a large towel and put on a fluffy bath robe.
The thoughts one thinks at four in the morning….
I recently listened to a wonderful poet named John G. Rives, who is a remarkable, smart and funny poet.
He wrote and performed a funny parody about the constant fascination with conspiracy theories and about the mystical hour of “Four in the morning…”
Here it is for your viewing pleasure: